


did you miss me

by hrtbnr (kiden)



Series: still care about mixtapes [3]
Category: Cow Chop
Genre: Established Relationship, Fake Chop, Fluff, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 11:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiden/pseuds/hrtbnr
Summary: aleks comes back from a job and there’s no reason for it to be different this time, but it is.





	did you miss me

**Author's Note:**

> my friend hurt my feelings with her angst talk so i wrote a disgustingly sappy fic literally don’t look at me as i attempt to soothe myself 
> 
> i wrote this on my phone and now i’m posting it and if there are all kinds of errors tbh i don’t care i’m suffering

No one would ever describe James as sentimental, but there is something about Aleks’ stupid ass face that makes him feel a little softer. His thighs are pretty nice too and James slides his hand up one of them as Aleks crawls into his lap, sitting back on James’ knees and leaning forward to press him against the couch. When the lights are low in the middle of the night and there’s no one else around, everything about Aleks makes James feel a little more tender than he’s comfortable with.

He’s always made rules and set boundaries for himself. For who he can be, in his own head and especially outside of it. Aleks has always been good at ignoring whatever he feels like, at pushing by what he doesn’t like and destroying whatever keeps him from getting what he wants. There are no rules he follows when it comes to James. No boundaries he’s ever yielded to.

It’s cool in the warehouse but Aleks is warm; presses close to James and curls around him, rubbing their noses together. It’s intimate and affectionate and he doesn’t seem to want anything else. There’s no rush to undress, no fire in the way Aleks is touching him. It’s careful and slow and even though he hasn’t said anything yet, James can feel how much Aleks missed him.

It’s been two weeks. For two weeks Aleks was on a job with Fake Haus and the AH Crew, and that’s hardly any time at all. But he’s looking at James like he’s come back from the dead, like it’s the first time he’s seeing him again, but new, and precious, the kind of thing you don’t let go of once you have it. It sucks the air from the room.

“So,” he breathes, ghosting his lips high across James’ cheek. “Did you miss me?”

It would be nice to say nope and have it be true. To say no and laugh, tease Aleks until whatever this is loosens or breaks and pulls all the tension out from between them. But his hands come to rest on Aleks’ waist and he squeezes, drawing him just a little closer, and he can’t lie. Not when Aleks is so earnest and let’s James see him all cut open like this, all his squishy insides exposed and vulnerable and him trusting James not to hurt him.

Because James could lie, that would probably be easy, but Aleks would know it’s a lie. And anyway, they promised a long time ago, James promised and Aleks promised back, they’d always tell each other the truth.

“Yeah,” he says, sweeping his hands up Aleks’ back and gripping his shoulders. “I guess I did.”

He used to be light as a feather in James’ lap. Like he could blow away if the weather changed. He’s heavier now. Solid. Built to stay and fits against him better than ever before, all their parts lining up, the good and the bad, and all of it becomes better for it. There hasn’t been a single moment since James realized it he hasn’t been terrified of what that means. Scared to death of what Aleks really means to him.

It’s going to get him killed one day but he can’t hide it forever, which makes it stupid he tries to hide it at all. He’d do anything for the shithead in his arms, nuzzling his face against the sensitive skin of James’ neck, and anything should include telling him. Because it’s the only thing Aleks wants from him. It’s all he’s ever wanted, all these years.

Taking Aleks’ face between his hands, James pushes him back so he can see him. Waits until Aleks looks at him and then a few seconds more until he’s seeing James, too.

There’s no reason this should be the moment. Nothing special about it. It’s not anything more than the two of them and the air between them they’re both breathing, how Aleks smiles and the corners of his mouth push up against James’ thumbs.

“I love you. You know that, right, Aleks? You know?”

Aleks sits back and doesn’t respond. But his hands move to James’ face, fingers touching across his eyebrows and brushing his thumbs softly under his eyes. James doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move, can barely breathe under Aleks’ hands.

He’s still silent when he presses his forehead to James’, his eyes closing as he takes a deep breath. When he exhales it’s all relief, so strong James can feel it under his skin.

When he finally speaks it’s in Russian. His voice is incredibly soft but unsteady, and whatever he’s saying he’s saying a lot of it. James never thought of Russian as a particularly pretty language, but it is when Aleks speaks it, gentle and reverent. There’s not a word that James understands but he does anyway, because he knows Aleks, and knows what this means to him and how long he’s waited for it. Knows that Aleks needs to say things James isn’t ready to hear yet.

“I love you,” he ends with, in English. Then adds another word, in Russian again, and this one James understands.

Always, he says, and means backward through the years and forward into whatever time they have in front of them.

These quiet moments are rare in their line of work. Who knows when the next one will come. But there’s something about Aleks’ face that makes James feel tender and wanting, and there’s hope there too. Buried underneath. He’ll take it while he can.

If they make it out of all of this alive, James is going to love the absolute fuck out of this man until he’s a sentimental old fool. And then he’s going to love him for longer than that. As loud as he can.

 

 

 


End file.
